Recently I've had very short nights of sleep. There's some inner drive that keeps me up at night working on getting to Costa Rica. When Patrick falls asleep I am able to work with much less distraction, and I guess I just go on auto pilot. All of a sudden 8:30 becomes 11:00! I think to myself, just a minute more. Next thing I know, 11:45. Oh yeah, and I have to get up at 4:30 to open at Starbucks.
I'm really grateful that The Lord gives this to me. It's a much better option than being stuck in a rut and not wanting to do anything. But I have to be careful to schedule in times or days of rest. Otherwise, I get burnt out surprisingly fast. If I go a week or two without time of rest and refocus, I crash. It reminds me of my utter reliance on Christ. I can't do anything, even take a breathe, without him sustaining every moment of it. And at the same time, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I hope I never lose sight of this. I fear that if I ever do the burns would be severe.
"But if truth be told I have my doubts, but I'll stake my soul on nothing else but if life were only certainty then by my own hand I would be free--like if I had the strength to carry on I would never fall into His arms."